Those manuals also remind me of the ‘house rules’ i had at a boarding house–every rule or warning was basically the result of someone screwing up in the past and their infractions being written into the list. So when a professor complains about standing around drinking coffee, i assume there was some grad student in his or her past that really abused the privilege.

Peter Wipf’s page shows his strong use of LIMS. Paul, have you given any thought to instituting any Lab Management software? I always thought it would be easier to institute it when starting up a lab than later.

I always thought that profs were nervous about explicitly stating work hours (e.g., 60 hrs/week) because of possible violations of labor laws, but on closer inspection, I don’t think they need to worry. The Fair Labor Standards Act limits work weeks to 40 hrs + 4 hrs overtime (1.5x time) and Congress has set the minimum wage at $7.25. Even at 60 hrs/wk, students and postdocs surpass minimum wage. While the number of hours demanded by many professors exceeds the maximum in the FLSA, there is an exemption for workers who are not working purely for their employer—i.e., the nature of research as “training” means that students and postdocs glean benefits beyond their wages, which makes these employees exempt from the 40-hr rule and they need not be paid overtime. The situation is analogous to medical residents, who are often explicitly required to work 80-hr weeks.

Another old one that I don’t see linked here yet: http://www.chemistry-blog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Gassman-and-Meyers.pdf

2) If kids are carrying that much poop, they’re going to be very unpopular just about anywhere unless they’re all two and can get away with it. Mommy and Daddy probably aren’t filled with joy if their kids are carrying that around, either, unless they’re the source of the hygiene, um, training. In that case, Mommy and/or Daddy’s coworkers must be happy, too.

Is someone trying to drum up funding or avoid sequester-related cuts?

And, of course, the 10 g estimate/hypothetical per bottom is absurd. Assuming the turds have the density of water, we’re talking 10 mL of poo per bottom. That’s like hiding three fun-size Tootsie Rolls. They’d probably drop out of someone’s shorts when they changed to get in the pool.