Future Covers to C&EN

May 19th, 2007

ChemBark has obtained the covers to the next two issues of Chemical and Engineering News.  Sources tell us that they may change at the last minute, but given the juicy nature of the featured stories, you will appreciate seeing them now:

May 28th:

June 4th:

Anyone interested in “discovering” future covers of C&EN should use this handy PowerPoint file.  It will prove especially useful for finding headlines like “My Hoodmate Smells like Cheese” or “Advisor of the Year”.  For decent conversion to j-peg, “print” your cover using the highest quality setting into a PDF file, then cut and paste it into an image editor like Photoshop.  You’ll have to adjust some things (colors, fonts, spacing) if you want a color print (directly from PPT) to look right.  I’ll be sure to tell Bill Gates about this problem when he comes here next month.

P.S.  When I said “big, Big, BIG…”, I was lying.

P.P.S.  Be sure to share your efforts with the rest of us.

Previous Comments

  1. Liquidcarbon Says:
    May 19th, 2007 at 5:53 am How do I receive a couple of millions from Gates foundation?
  2. milkshake Says:
    May 19th, 2007 at 8:42 am I suggest a headline “Advisor’s rear – choosing the right moment to plunge in”There was a spoof of the Cosmopolitan cover, used to advertise Jacobsen Open House few years back. It had titles: “What women want from their salene” and “The most potent nucleophiles”
  3. bad cop Says:
    May 19th, 2007 at 8:53 am Awesome!! Paul you are a star, but how the hell am I going to get any work done now?
  4. Milo Says:
    May 19th, 2007 at 9:08 am Someone need to put their goggles down so that they actually cover the eyes, not the forehead.
  5. Wavefunction Says:
    May 19th, 2007 at 9:56 am Priceless!
  6. Uncle Al Says:
    May 19th, 2007 at 11:33 am Let’s have a group photo of Niger. The caption, “Project SEED: ACS dues trebled”Start with a photo of ISS FUBAR, “$Billion synthesis not to be run in Space Station.”Big Picture of President Bush the Lesser, “Faith-based chemistry and tenure upsurge”

    14-Si-28, “Carbon hegemony declared ‘hate language’”

    “Both Houses of Congress today passed a bill requiring all polymeric substances to be at least 30% non-CHNO. The bill stipulates a waiver for maize pimp Archer-Daniels-Midland to supply massive tonnages of stalk, leaf, cob and husk. In simple language, all polymers must contain 30% wt-% equivalent “cornylates” to promote elemental diversity.

  7. Mitch Says:
    May 19th, 2007 at 11:34 am What’s up with the lipstick though?Mitch
  8. excimer Says:
    May 19th, 2007 at 12:03 pm Those’re hilarious. Rudy Baum must be impressed. Well, that or confused. Maybe both.
  9. Uhm Says:
    May 19th, 2007 at 1:06 pm LOL!
  10. Propter Doc Says:
    May 19th, 2007 at 6:46 pm Yeah safety glasses doing a nice job on the forehead there – true C&EN cover style.
  11. Paul Says:
    May 20th, 2007 at 5:47 am Lipstick? “Rubbed off.”
  12. Liquidcarbon Says:
    May 20th, 2007 at 10:21 pm wow, I’ve been trying to remember the name of that movie. Thanks!
  13. Squeak Says:
    May 20th, 2007 at 10:47 pm I cannot make out what is in the volumetric flask. Is the white blob something you are trying to dissolve, or is it foam?
  14. Paul Says:
    May 20th, 2007 at 10:53 pm It was a solution of tetradecyltrimethylammonium (hydroxide), a cationic surfactant for a high school science project. The photographer…wait for it…asked if I had anything colored to play around with. I didn’t, but said I had something that makes bubbles. Of course, the funny thing is that if I ever agitated the solution when diluting to the mark, I would have to wait for half an hour for the bubbles to die down for an accurate measurement.
  15. sam Says:
    May 20th, 2007 at 11:22 pm i wanna play! thanks for the ppt file, too!
  16. sam Says:
    May 21st, 2007 at 1:01 am OK, here’s mine. SAC is “Student Affairs Committee,” and we run the student-hosted colloquia and supply donuts and coffee on wednesdays and run other such things. Here’s another one. Perfect job, Paul
  17. Squeak Says:
    May 21st, 2007 at 1:39 am Thanks! I asked because that picture gave me terrible flashbacks to a foaming nightmare I had last week. I had to make up solutions containing sodium dodecyl sulfate and I had a nightmare with foam that would not go away. I couldn’t suck it out with a pasteur pipette as that would alter the concentration of the solution. I waited for hours and the foam didn’t go away. Eventually, I dunked part of the flask in a sonicator and that did the trick.
  18. Jose Says:
    May 21st, 2007 at 1:34 pm Man, if RBW is reincarnated, it is time for a cage match to the death with EJ over the whole “I gave RBW the idea for the W-H rules…” I know who I’d be betting on!
  19. excimer Says:
    May 21st, 2007 at 3:43 pm haha zombie woodward ftw
  20. excimer Says:
    May 21st, 2007 at 4:27 pm …and here’s my contribution.
  21. eugene Says:
    May 21st, 2007 at 8:58 pm The hammer behind the THF still looks a bit ominous. THF stills are the easiest to run though. Just clean it often enough and you avoid explosions.
  22. excimer Says:
    May 21st, 2007 at 9:39 pm We have an excellent postdoc in charge of the THF still here, but I would rather prefer it not being there. I’ve been pushing for an SDS, which have their own drawbacks, but 1. I’m lazy and hate distilling my own solvents; 2. egregious lack of Na + THF + water = dead excimer reactions; 3. Triethylamine.Anyone who says “but distilling your own solvents is soooooo easy!” will fall on deaf ears. Easy it might be, it’s easier still to walk down the hall and use another group’s SDS.
  23. Paul Says:
    May 22nd, 2007 at 2:22 am Nice work, gentlemen. I can see fake C&EN covers becoming a regular feature until another re-design makes them harder to falsify.
  24. Taitauwai Says:
    May 22nd, 2007 at 4:50 am Here’s my contribution:http://i150.photobucket.com/al…..7cover.jpgSorry guys, I don’t really know how to insert link into word.
  25. Taitauwai Says:
    May 22nd, 2007 at 6:12 am Paul, thought you might want to know, “Rubbed off” from #11 has been taken off you tube.
  26. Shiva Says:
    May 22nd, 2007 at 3:10 pm Paul, Thanks for obtaining the CEN covers. To me the ‘’Finally Palau’amine” is more interesting.
    Anyhow I thought of posting some thing about this on my blog. I welcome Folks with interest in total synthesis to check it out shortly!
  27. Shiva Says:
    May 22nd, 2007 at 3:12 pm at http://totallyretrosynthetic.blogspot.com/
  28. European Chemist Says:
    May 24th, 2007 at 4:22 pm Hilarious!
  29. Albert Says:
    May 25th, 2007 at 2:24 pm I’ve borrowed your first picture: I just hope I didn’t violate any copyright…:)
  30. Paul Says:
    May 28th, 2007 at 1:37 am Haha…nice. I blame professional photographers for discouraging the use of goggles in labs.

One Response to “Future Covers to C&EN”

  1. Godspeed, Mr. Baum | ChemBark Says:

    […] That C&EN cover is one of the fakes I designed way back in a post from 2007. I can’t tell whether it is the “chemistry bloggers” edition here or a […]

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